yoooo guys these wings my dad made look INSANE i can’t wait to try them tomorrow
i don’t think you understand i totally thought we were gonna die locked up in this castle but this fucking genius was like “im going to invent a way for humans to fly”. shout out to my dad he’s a real one fr
LMAOOO this dude told me to be careful as he affixed the wings to my back…..dad no offense but you just invented flying and we have to go high enough to avoid the king’s archers. soo
HOOOOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I AM SO AFRAID. THE GROUND IS SO FAR. HOW DO BIRDS DO THIS. OH MY GODS OH MY GODS OH MY GODS
it’s so beautiful up here
i don’t like seeing the ground. i’m going higher
it’s cold and i can’t see anything. not sure if that’s better or worse
by zeus….what is that thing…….it’s as bright as the sun and twice as warm
the gods look truly down on me this day…apollo calls to me from his chariot of fire. a mere mortal. he must think my flight such a wondrous feat
i don’t understand why but he’s coming closer. he is not supposed to stray from his path, lest the sun fall from the sky. why does he look so anguished to see me?
oh. i am in his path
it’s so hot…was it this hard to fly before? maybe i’m tired
the wax
he really does look like the sun…the light emanates from his fingers, his hair, his skin. he means to catch me. i reach for him
his skin burns. i cannot hold on
i slip through his fingers.
it takes a really long time to fall from the sky. longer than i thought
i wonder if he cried for me
i pray to him just in case. i am grateful he tried. my palms are red and cracked from where they touched divinity. the ground does not look any closer than it was
i have not seen my father since we took flight…i hope he escaped. i hope he will not witness this. i wish i could tell him how joyful these wings made me before the wax melted
i do not regret it. i have seen with my own eyes what others will only dream of
i am not afraid
i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am not afraid i am afraid i am afraid i am afraid
please please please please please pleaseplease
the gods will not save me. i suppose this is a lesson in hubris. i am forever a flightless thing
please please please i have no coin for the ferryman if i am to die now i will never reach the realm of hades please turn me into a bird any bird or a bug or something anything please please pleasepleaseplease
I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM NOT AFRAID I AM N
had someone comment “investing at x notes” on one of my posts and then the post just stopped getting notes which is a thousand times funnier than it blowing up if I’m being honest
get urself a new portfolio manager my guy because your investments ain’t going nowhere
Vampires where blood groups matter. Drinking off an incompatible blood group makes you extremely ill. Vampires can also feed from each other, and sometimes will as a bonding or dominance thing, so they have an organically evolved blood-group-based social caste system.
Wait wait wait does that mean if I become a vampire all the other vampires are going to feed on my O- vampire blood.
roman curse tablets for chariot races are so funny because they’re basically all variations of “cosmo wanda i wish every horse and charioteer on the red team went to hell no matter what”
